Why Marriage Still Matters

Divorce has become an epidemic in this nation. And I speak from experience when I say divorce is ruining our families.

Current statistics show that 50% of all marriages are likely to end in divorce. 

50%

 WHICH MEANS...

Every 1 in 2 marriages has a 100% chance of failing. 

Statistics aren't good. They're not good at all. If you have attended two weddings so far this year (and you probably have because June is the most popular month to wed), statistics say one of those marriages will end with a nasty split. One that will force the couple to divide those presents neatly wrapped on the wedding gift table and go on their separate ways.

It's sad to me. Is it sad to you? 

Recently, someone told me my marriage would fail because I got married at 22. At first I was shocked; but once I recovered from this person's brutal opinion, I began to see things more clearly: our society views marriage as something that it simply is not.

What Marriage Is Not:

1. It's not about getting your way. This may sound harsh, but marriage is not about finding a spouse who will spend the rest of their life letting you have your way. It's about compromise. If you want your way, get a dog. A spouse is a lifetime commitment that requires you to put someone else's needs above yours. ALWAYS. Don't complain; you said the words "for better or worse." Stick to your word and work through your selfishness. 

2. Indispensable. Things aren't working out the way you envisioned? Surprise, surprise. The fact that you thought it would be a fairy tale speaks mainly about your willingness to let Hollywood sell you false ideas about love. Marriage is not a fairy tale. It's a relationship. One that should be the most important thing in your life. The more you give to your marriage, the more likely it will resemble a friendship laced with romance and passion. Stop fooling yourself; the fairy tale NEVER ends well (ask a divorcee). If your aim is kindness, you'll create something far superior to the stories you see in movies. Don't throw your marriage away on something trivial. The grass is NOT greener on the other side (ask a divorcee).

3. Being happy. Your happiness in your marriage depends entirely on you. Your spouse is not responsible for 'keeping' you happy. It's an impossible feat. If you want a happy marriage, try getting involved in your spouse's passions. And practice kindness. I've never met a man or woman who complains about their 'nice' spouse. Seriously, kindness goes a long way. Practice it!

4. Control. I'm mainly speaking to my wife friends here, but I'm sure a few husbands could stand to learn a thing or two about control. STOP TRYING TO CONTROL. Seriously, just stop. I can't stand when a wife yells at her husband in front of me for ___________ (you fill in the blank). I'll give you some examples: spending money, coming home late, taking too long, spending money. I'm just being honest here: it makes YOU look bad. There is a time for expressing your feelings BUT it is not in front of other people. Also, most men understand that their jobs pay for bills (just like yours, if you work). Give them some credit. The men I know spending money are doing it to better their family's future. Control makes for two very miserable people. And let's face it: it's better to scrape by in a happy home than to live in a tense environment with mounds of gold. Sure, that BMW will keep you comfy on your way to work, but it doesn't sleep in the same bed as you every night.

The Takeway: MARRIAGE is not about YOU. 

So...why does marriage still matter?

IT MATTERS BECAUSE...

We can accomplish more in pairs.

My husband and I are far better together than we ever were apart. But our marriage takes work. We spend hours pouring over each other's passions. And kindness is a daily practice in our home. We fail, but when we set aside our false ideas about love and focus on this one Bible truth, God blesses us with more than we could ever imagine. 

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10