When Kelly and I first got married, we only had a few things in common. Our faith, love of road trips, life goals, and many personality traits.
But our passions--writing and web development--were very different. Our different passions have always given us an independence from one another because I have no desire to code or program and he has no desire to sit down and spend hours playing with words on a screen or sheet of paper.
In our marriage, our separate passions have always been a great experience for us. We share practically everything and go practically everywhere together, but our desks sit on opposite sides of the house and we normally separate to work on our passions.
As the years have moved forward, God has strategically used our separate passions to pull us closer to one another. Oftentimes, Kelly has to send long emails or write text for his web clients. Though I love to write long and short stories, I'm more focused on blogging now. That means we have had to merge our two passions to accomplish similar goals. It's been a beautiful experience watching our passions seamlessly flow together. And I know only God could have planned for them to collide. He knew we would each need the other's talent to further our dreams.
Our passions have expanded now that we're older. We both love to teach. We both love to work with our hands. We both love to explore with the dogs--and alone. And we do it together.
The more my husband and I have in common, the deeper our conversations become and the sweeter life itself becomes. When we are old and frail, we're probably spend the majority of our time reminiscing about all the hours we spent in Lowe's holding hands or our trips to different cities to explore. If we didn't have a strong friendship, we probably wouldn't enjoy the time we spent together as much as we do now.
The things you have in common with your husband are an important part of your marriage because as children, careers, and life come and go, your marriage will end the same way it began, with just the two of you. If you don't have similar interests, now's the time to start working on it.
How to build common interests with your husband:
1. Pick an interest of your husband's and then ask him to help you understand it better.
My husband is a marketing whiz. He really is! He can market anything well with enough time and resources. I think marketing is interesting and needed to learn more about it to teach a class. Kelly and I spent--and still do spend--hours sitting at my computer as he showed me the basics of internet marketing. I like learning from my husband and I'm glad I found an interest of his I enjoy learning about. He also enjoys sharing with me. Your husband will enjoy sharing his passion with you, too!
2. Cultivate interests together.
I am not an adventurous person by nature, but I try very hard to be for my husband. We explore cities, national parks, new restaurants, and activities. I--who am a self-professed hater of roller coasters--will even ride roller coasters for my husband. Yes, I will subject myself to an entire day of feeling like I'm going to throw up at any moment just for him. Because I know how much he loves amusement parks and it's just one day that I sacrifice for his bliss. I also usually get a nice dinner out of it, so it's worth it for me. As we explore new adventures together, we do find things we love to do together--and some things we don't like to do. We've discovered that we love to work on house projects together. We also love to garden and take the dogs for long hikes. We like going to the lake and miniature-golfing. We have found interests--together--that we enjoy doing with one another. It's all about trial-and-error.
3. Appreciate the time you have together.
Life is busy and the older you get, the busier it will become. Regardless of the activity, you should learn to enjoy the moments you get to spend together. Life--though it may appear long--is very short. And none of us ever really know when it will be over. So, hold hands and laugh a lot. If he wants to take you to some monster truck extravaganza, GO! Feel honored that as he wants YOU sitting beside him as he engages in one of his favorite activities.
Your Wife-Friend In Christ,
Jessica
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