Don't Be A Complainer

"Do everything without complaining and arguing so you may become blameless and pure." (Philippians 2:14-15)

If you were to ask my husband what he dislikes most about me, he'd probably say something along the lines of: "I wish she didn't complain so much."

It's not that I spend my days complaining or nagging my husband to death. It's just that he really, really dislikes complaining. More so than anything else in the world. And since I'm human, from time-to-time that horrible instinct to complain flares up and I can really put that man in a terrible mood.

The saddest thing is that I can find just about anything to complain about if I sit there long enough. The weather. The amount of laundry piling up. The lack of sleep I'm deprived of. The neighbors' barking dog.

One day, my husband looked at me and said out-of-the-blue, "I can't handle the complaining." I figured he was talking about me, but I couldn't remember any recent complaining I had been doing. I had been making a conscious effort to avoid any type of 'idle talk'. Then, he started listing off name after name.

I tried rationalizing with him--defending the complainers. "We (meaning complainers in general) probably don't even realize we're doing it half the time," I told him. "It's just second nature. When something doesn't go my way, I immediately start complaining and don't even know I'm doing it." That's when he looked at me and said, "Yeah, but you're supposed to be better than everyone else." And I could hear my pastor's voice loud and clear. "There's always a little bit of truth in criticism."

So, I began evaluating the situation. My husband spends the majority of his time with other people. He works with them and for them. And I know that for some people, complaining is second nature. But it doesn't do any good, does it? It doesn't fix the situation or mend broken fences. It just puts everyone in a bad mood.

Hey, misery loves company, right?

When Kelly comes home after a long day of work, I know complaining is the last thing he wants to hear. That realization made me want to be the only person in his life who doesn't complain. I pray often that God reminds me of Philippians 2:14-15 every time I start complaining. "Do everything without complaining and arguing so you may become blameless and pure." I long to be 'blameless and pure' in my husband's eyes.

Sure, I slip up every now and then, but I really try to let the words I speak to him be encouraging, joyful, and uplifting. I don't always succeed, but thankfully God is good at bringing those verses to memory instantly.

If you find yourself complaining, remember to think on Philippians 2:14-15. It just might make your marriage a happier one!

Your Wife-Friend in Christ,
Jessica